I Cannot Lie...

[Phantomgrift]

What with all the new-fangled whatnot that's crapped out as music, I still enjoy the likes of the following artists:

Johnny Horton
Johnny Cash
Billy Walker
Claude King
Flatt & Scruggs
Tom T. Hall
The Kingston Trio
Walter Brennan
SSgt Barry Sadler
Porter Wagoner
Lefty Frizzell
Marty Robbins
Jimmy Dean
Jeannie C. Riley
C.W. McCall
Tex Ritter
Roy Rogers
The Statler Brothers
Hank Williams
Dolly Parton
Slim Whitman
Gene Autry
Jimmie Rodgers

Ah hell, ya'll get the idea.

[Sorce]

Even white boys got ta shout.

[Rip]

Wow, I'm pretty sure...yep, I pretty much turn off every single one of those if possible, aside from Cash, and that's because exceptions prove rules.

Country music makes me break out in hives.

[dexeron]

Where the hell is Willie Nelson on that list?

I'll give you one thing: old time country (like any musical genre) has some really awesome stuff, and some forgettable stuff. Up until somewhere in the 80s (maybe it was the early 90s), country was just another genre, and there were some extremely badass artists producing some sweet, sweet music.

Modern country? It all sounds like the most contrived, formulaic bullshit. It's either paint-by-numbers "Look at how rednecky we are! We're PROUD to be country!" (which, let's admit, was already starting back in the early 80s with songs like "Country Boy Can Survive" - and I'll admit, I kind of like that song just because it's so hilarious) or paint-by-numbers "Let me tug at your heartstrings for 3 minutes with a series of vignettes culimating in something tragic/heartwarming" like the mid nineties "Don't Take the Girl." Way too many songs ape that stupid formula.

And yea, I know that even older country kind of went in those directions, but it wasn't so formulaic about it.

That, and I'll admit I'm more drawn to the more "mainstream" sounding stuff anyway - your Kenny Rogers, the aforementioned Dolly Parton, Eddie Rabbit, you know, those crossover hits.

And Willie. Willie can do no wrong.

tl;dr version: New country sucks. Old country was better. Especially crossover stuff. And Willie Nelson.

ttl;dr version: Get off my lawn I am old.

[Phantomgrift]

I can't stand most new country.

And I'm undecided on Willie Nelson.
See, back in the days of "Old Country", he sang songs about being a rebel, being a bad-ass, etc. Nowadays? In the era of New Country? He's a dope-smoking, long-haired hippie, and pretty much the exact opposite of everything he used to sing about.

It leaves me in a quandary between liking old-school hardasses, and hating the ever-loving fuck out of tree-hugging fruitloops.

[dexeron]

He was always a long-haired dope smoking hippie (well, I mean after the 80s, at least - he was really in many ways always that in spirit.) Except he was never a hippie, half of his music was written as a reaction to the hippies and their music, and you have no idea what hippie means (not everyone with long hair who smokes pot and/or gives a crap about the environment is a "hippie", unless you're Ward Cleaver or something. The hippies were a specific thing, at a specific time, and Nelson is not, and never was, one of them.)

Not that there was anything wrong with hippies either, but whatever.

Regardless, Willie started his "long hair dope smoking" when it WAS rebellious to do so, and when you could be both a "hippie" (again, lol, really?) and a bad-ass at the same time. He just didn't feel the need to stop doing all of that just because it became trendy and "less rebellious." He does his own thing because it's what he likes, and who he is. To hell with whether anyone else likes or dislikes it. That's one of many reasons why Willie Nelson is badass. That's not even getting into the quality of his music.

tl;dr: I will punch anyone who speaks ill of Willie Nelson.

[Rip]

Oh, I like Willie Nelson, but only as a pot-smoking, long-haired "hippie" mouthpiece, not as a musician.

Incidentally, I believe the best cure for liking country music of any kind is to grow up surrounded by nothing other than intensely racist redneck hillbilly backwater dumbass country-fried bigoted christian fucking stupid as cowshit Country Music Fans. If taken correctly, the mere sound of any sort of "twang" should make one immediately vomit in terror, because terrorvomit sounds the most like death-metal and has been shown to temporarily assuage the victim until guitar distortion can be applied.

[dexeron]

Yeah, living in South Carolina for awhile did a lot to cure any liking I had for country music.

And line dancing.

[Phantomgrift]

I'll give you that one.
Part of my family is from Texas, and even after living there, I still don't fathom the reasoning behind line-dancing.

[Sage]

much like an act of god, line dancing cannot be explained, reasoned with, or justified.
it simply IS, and cannot be denied.