So, I'm done with the Buddhist thread now

[Despanan]

[Rip]

[Agent]

[dexeron]

[Despanan]

You know what? I was going to respond point for point, but I'm not going to do that.

Instead I am going to apologize. Clearly I did a poor job expressing myself, because as much as I'd like to lay this entirely at your feet at the end of the day I am responsible for my actions and their impact on others. We have been talking past each other when we could be having a more productive conversation, like the one Rip suggested.

I will still maintain that my intent was not to preach. If I'm going to do Shakabuku it's not going to be with you guys. I honestly figured it wouldn't be a problem, because Buddhists are also atheists - as in I do not believe in gods nor the supernatural.

It was also douchey of me to respond to Rip's claim that he was acknowledged as an enlightened being by telling him everyone is an enlightened being. The point of you saying that was to claim you are special (half jokingly) - and that's actually right, you are special. Like nothing I said was untrue, but still it's half a jab and that's not a good way to start off a conversation.

I don't think you're enlightened, but let's face facts, you don't either. 'Cause you don't believe in that shit.

So yeah, my bad guys. I'm sure some of what I typed was passive aggressive and that's not cool. Let's just say I got sucked into ClanBOB and ClanBOB is awful these days.

I'm still the same old Despanan - I just happen to have found a thing that works for me, and I just like talking about it. I won't say it can't work for you for reasons I already went into, but I don't think it's the only thing that can work for you - and maybe you don't even need a thing. Maybe you're good and that's okay.

Me? Well at the moment at least I need a thing. My life is very uncertain. Lots of good shit has happened, but I still can't pay for a family and I have no assurances that I ever will be able to. I'm pretty sure it will work out, and the chanting helps to keep my anxiety and stress at bay - which is important.

I ride the subway and walk by homeless people every day, and that's upsetting and scary. This is a very big, indifferent city with a shit ton of money and opportunity, but you have to be a fucking asshole to get any of it or live with any kind of security (or at least it seems that way ie: maybe that's wrong-view). I've found a bunch of people who aren't assholes, and as much as I joke about it, it's really not a cult - though I can see why someone might think otherwise (relentless optimism is weird, but as I said, it wins you over in spite of yourself.)

I still think every single one of you are being relentless assbags - maybe that's because it scares you that I became religious, maybe you just like trolling me, and maybe I've been a bit of a dick (my guess is all three).

But fact is there's a reason I'm still talking to you after all these years. We're friends, and I actually like that even though lately you're behaving like you're miserable.

And RIP, honestly - did not want to screw with your equilibrium. I fucking hate Ayn Rand. I hate what her work does to people and I really can't stand elitism, largely because most of the people who think they're elite fucking aren't. They're mediocre assbags who need that narrative to feel good about themselves (and don't act like you don't fucking know that because you do).

But I don't have a problem with you or what you believe. I don't think you're a mediocre assbag. I think you're an assbag but not as much as you pretend.

In any case, if ya'll want to have a real discussion at some point let me know. I'll try not to use too much jargon, but honestly, I'm excited about this shit and using new words and terms is fun for me. I will make a distinct effort to make it more relate-able and I'll be sure not to step on your toes.

duces.

[Despanan]

[dexeron]

[Agent]

I think your problem Desp is that you made and continue to make a lot of unfounded assumptions about other people, how they think, and how they are going to respond.

[Rip]

I think this is the first time we can say, the ClanBOB method worked!!



Okay but for seriously. This is where we can all hug now.

I said it over and over and I will restate it because I firmly believe it: you should absolutely and wholeheartedly do whatever works for you. I am, again, GLAD that you found something that is helping you through Human shit. Humans need shit to deal with the shit that humans make humans deal with. Yours is now Buddhism. Mine is Satanic Nihilism. My wife's is a sort of Philosophical Animism. Dex likes Peanut Butter. We can and should all be able to get along...and to bring it back around, maybe what we've REALLY done here today is shown how much language can inhibit communication.

And if I've never stated it before, I've never read anything Rand has ever had published; the wikipedia versions, the cultural miasma surrounding her and the quotes I've seen sloughed all over the internet are enough for me, thanks. You know I joined the CPUSA back in 2000, right? Ah, the heady days of youth!

Anyway. I'll go ahead and apologize too: I'm sorry if you thought I was miserable. This place obviously needs a punching up or two maybe, but I'm hardly responsible for that. Except for largely contributing and cementing the overall aura of might-makes-right opinion-slinging by keeping the bar so impossibly high for so long. Jesus Christ, have I really been here for almost twenty years?! I own my own house now and everything!

[Agent]

Maybe Desp can continue on from this point arguing against people instead of against the straw philosophies he arbitrarily assigns to them.